I am blogging here today to tell you that love is easy to find.
I’m a person who once thought it couldn’t be found. I thought I had to just stumble upon it or something. Consequently, I thought most people weren’t very loving.
In my past, I spent many nights unable to sleep because I was so lonely. I felt anxiety when I would have to go to a social gathering. I was always worried about the people who didn’t understand me.
My more recent past struggles put me in a very beneficial mindset. First of all, I had to learn to not care what others thought about me. I had to realize it was pointless to waste even a second of thought on the idea that someone might misunderstand me. I realized, if someone dislikes me, it’s because they misunderstand me. And if they misunderstand me, it’s their loss because they’re losing a good person who would be an awesome friend.
After I got used to fearlessly putting my neck out – it took some practice – I thought back to my Interpersonal Communications class in college. There, I read “The Four Loves” by C.S. Lewis, and I learned about the highest form of love, Agape, which includes things like forgiveness and the giving of one’s life.
I had been working on loving my family in the form of Agape for a couple years. True Agape love isn’t always easy, and it can take years of practice. Of course, there’s a good chance we’ll never be able to practice true Agape because we’re humans, but we can give it our best and come close!
Moving to California – away from my parents and sister – really taught me to appreciate them. I thought I already appreciated them, but moving away made my appreciation and love even stronger. Moving away also left a space to be filled.
If I had still believed what I used to, that love is something we just stumble upon, I would be suffering right now. But when I moved, I knew love wasn’t just a chance happening. I knew I had to seek it out.
Now that I’ve found love, I can say, it’s easy to find.
First, you have to find people. It doesn’t matter who. Then, you give them part of your life; maybe an hour, maybe a week.
When giving time, realize you’re not just giving time, you’re giving part of your life. You’re giving love in a way very much like the love Jesus Christ gave us. Jesus suffered and gave his life for us. You will be giving a part of your life for another human being. When you give love to one of God’s beings, you’re giving love to God. When you give love to God, you’re giving love to all of us.
See how easy it is? Try it! It’s even easier when you do it rather than think about it.
At this point, you may be thinking, “I am giving love, but I’m not receiving love.” Unfortunately, not every person you give love to will give it back, but most will. You will find yourself receiving plenty of gratitude. So much gratitude that you’ll be giving gratitude because you’ll be thankful for the thanks you’ve been given, and for the opportunity you’ve had to love. Basically, you’ll feel super awesome!
If you want to add icing to the cake, converse with those you’re working for and with. Ask them questions, be curious. Learn about them. Learn from them. Those will be the people who really express their love for you, and they’re the people you’ll love most.
Now, for those of you who read the title and thought it meant Eros (that passion between a man and a woman) love is easy to find, I apologize. Eros love takes more of a commitment to a single person, and therefore is a little more difficult to find. However, if you start out by giving love (the Agape kind), two things will happen for you: a) you’ll be less lonely and those cravings for Eros love won’t be as strong, b) you’ll be around good people more often which means you’ll be more likely to find a good person to fall in love with!
All in all, love really is easy to find! You may be thinking, “damn, that doesn’t seem easy!” Well, it doesn’t seem easy, but I promise it is. Just make sure you take baby steps. Check local newspapers, Craigslist and church groups for an organization that could use your help. Then, call or shoot them an e-mail. Or just help out grandparents or neighbors! More than likely, they’ll be stoked to have you. Tell them how much time you can give each week. Then, take it from there.
You don’t have to be lonely anymore. You can find true happiness, love. I promise it’s easy if you just do it.